The Joys and Challenges of Self-Disclosure
Teaching is simultaneously intensely personal and extremely public work
I’m teaching a brand-new course this semester. I’m excited about it, but the new thing also causes me plenty of apprehension. I hold myself to a pretty high standard, after all—I expect excellence of myself. Maybe you can relate to that? I think that for many of us as teachers, we are our own worst critics. Perhaps that doesn’t ring true for you, but it is my story as a teacher.
I just really want to do well, to represent myself well, to care well for my students.
Teaching is such a fearful thing! I’ve said before that one of the things that makes teaching so demanding is that it is simultaneously intensely personal and also extremely public. Teaching is intensely personal, because we bring nothing less than our whole selves into the work of teaching—if things don’t go well, I often feel that it was something about me that we insufficient. And this challenge is compounded by the extremely public nature of teaching: by it’s very nature, we do this personal work with an audience—our students, directly, and more indirectly, their families, our colleagues and administrators, and society more broadly. Maybe it’s no wonder that teaching a new course can feel like exhibitionism (maybe just me?) in the sense that I’m afraid to be the emperor with no clothes—and guffawed as the fool for thinking I had the wherewithal to even imagine I could take on this challenge!
Teaching is not for the faint of heart. This personal-public paradigm is one big reason I can say with confidence that teaching is not for everyone. Not everyone has the inner strength and resilience—let alone the training and preparation—to walk into a classroom every day, put themselves on display, and walk the tightrope of self-disclosure that is embodied when we bring our love for students, love for the content, and love for the work of teaching together. I believe it is a precious gift we bestow on our students to not just act like teachers, but to truly be teachers—being our whole selves with all the excitement and anxiety and enthusiasm and apprehension that we carry with us.
Teachers, you matter. Be encouraged that you (yes, you!) make a difference. May you have the confidence to do this wonderful, weird, weighty work to the best of your ability. May you find deep joy and satisfaction in the work you get to do—even though it is demanding, and often intensely challenging work. Grace and peace to you as you navigate these joys and challenges all bundled up together in bringing your whole self into the work.
Dave’s Faves
Here are three things I’m absolutely loving right now that I hope you might love too…
Dave’s Fave #1: Fresh tomatoes!
My dad has a huge garden, and we are currently reaping the benefits in the form of huge, lovely tomatoes. As I write this, I’m roasting a bunch in the oven to turn into tomato bisqué. My favorite!
Dave’s Fave #2: Listening to my wife sing!
The other evening, there was a special event at my favorite local coffee shop (shout out to the Fruited Plain—best cup of coffee in this county!) that was part concert, part worship service, part Labor Day reflection the meaning and value of work. But the best part for me? My wife belting out the lead vocal for a gospel-tinged masterpiece by The Porter’s Gate. Chills, you guys. Chills.
Dave’s Fave #3: Worship for Workers
My music recommendation for you all is the album by The Porter’s Gate that the band—my wife included—were leading us in singing. It’s called Worship for Workers, and every song uncovers some aspect of the beautiful blessing that meaningful work truly is for us. Give it a listen, and let me know what you think by leaving a comment below.
(If you’re curious, Missy was singing the lead on “You Know the Way.” It’s a powerful song!)
The Last Word!
An old Hebrew proverb says, “A child is not a vessel to be filled, but a lamp to be lit.” That’s a good reminder for all of us, isn’t it? Maybe a helpful way of reframing the fearful, personal-public work we get to do as teachers? Take this as a kind encouragement, friends, not a “should” that you have to do, okay? But my challenge for you (and for me too!) is this: what is something you’re going to do this week to help light a fire in one of your students? Or in all of your students?
Dave, you nailed this post, expressing what I feel so deeply about the act of teaching. Even after 30 years in the class, I step to the front with fear and trepidation because I care so deeply about serving my students well. Thank you.